I Wanna Do Bad Things To You...My Weight Loss that is

Hello Everyone!

Any TrueBlood Fans out there? Anyone? No?

So Halloween and my Birthday have come and gone.

So has my self control and motivation. YIKES!

Let's just say I made very little attempts to actually stay focused this week.

I had left over Peanut Butter Chewies that my mom made me. I ended up having to throw them away. I couldn't stop eating them and they aren't very good after a few days, even when stored in a container.

I had my son's Halloween candy out on the counter.

I ate pizza Saturday night. I did order the thin crust, garden veggie. Then I had a glass of wine.

My knees were bothering me and so I only walked once this week.

I had a Jack In The Box Ultimate Cheeseburger, no sauce. With curly fries and ketchup.

I ate left over pizza then 2 hours later, even though I wasn't hungry, ate chicken fajitas. I only had 2 and only 4-5 chips with salsa. I was miserable though.

I decided to buy Oreos one day this week. So all 3 of us plowed right in to them...No portion control.

I also decided, at one point before bedtime, that I wanted a Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop Tart. I heated that up and drank milk with it. I was satisfied with my craving and very full afterwards.

I did sit down and make up a meal plan for the week and followed through with it for a few of the days.

I have had a few spoonfuls of the "real" chocolate icing left over from the HG Chocolate Cake I made. I would just have a spoonful or I would add some to the slice of cake. Luckily there are only 8 slices and the kids had 1 each so that only happened once. But still...

I had a cute outfit on today though. Size 14 American Eagle capri's and a size Large top. Hair was unruly and I had no make-up on in the photo but all-in-all it was cute. Oh and I also wore one of my new bras. Not sure I like it so much though which bums me out. Lets just say the girls were not staying in place and that's just frustrating.

Cute story about the capri's. I was sitting on the front stoop waiting for the kids to get off the school bus, wearing these capri's. My son was outside and came up to me. He said; "Mommy, you leg coming through you pants" as he points to the holes in the kness of my jeans with a very concerned look on his face. I said to him, "yes, buddy. I bought them that way". He replies, as he rides away on his bike still looking concerned, "poor mommy". LMBO! It was like he was thinking A)I can't afford jeans without holes or B) I paid money for jeans with holes and it doesn't make sense to him. Eiher way I was dying! He is truly Awesome!!!

 While we were out today...my son talked me into buying him a batman cave. Here he was taking a gold fish break. You can see the Yellow and Blue snack up just in front of the toy, if you look close. hehe

Tonight...UGH! I did well this morning. Oatmeal (not instant). Lunch was Subway's Tuscan chicken Melt with no sauce. *This is where it goes down hill...
1 small bag of Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar chips. Almost and entire bag of Rold Gold Fudge Coated Pretzels. A healthy handful of Cracker Jacks Originals. About 4oz of of Blush Wine from Crown Valley. About 8oz of Barefoot Moscato.

I tried the new recipe that I posted about earlier, Spinach and Ricotta Stuffed Shells. They were not as good as I had hoped. I am curious if it could have been because I was still full from my binge this afternoon. SO I wrapped that up and put it in the fridge. Then I made 1/2 cup of refried beans with WW mexican blend cheese, whole grain scoops, and 1/2 cup of pace medium salsa. I drank a diet cherry pepsi. UGH SO FULL but didn't stop. Old habits die hard!!!

I weigh-in tomorrow morning. I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 194 lbs...that is down from last saturday but I am pretty sure after tonight it will be up by morning.

I should note how I feel and maybe if I decide to do this again, I can go back and see why I don't want to do this again...

I feel like BLAH! I don't feel well. I feel heavy and tired. (It is late and I need to go to bed). I am not motivated and most definitely Dehydrated.

I am pretty sure I read somewhere...If you eat like crap you will feel like crap. That is Happening right here and now!

SO Lesson Learned...I still have a lot of learning to do. I am still on this journey to learn how to make healthy choices and still be able to indulge on things I love in reasonable portions. I am still a work in progress and I am going to have bad days and weeks. The important thing is how I learn from them and pick up and move forward.

Whether the scale in the morning says I gained or stayed the same or (by some miracle) lost weight. It is a new day. A fresh start and a new opportunity. I am in control. Food does not control me.

I just need to refocus and remind myself why I am doing this and how bad I really want it.

One good thing and maybe it will help me get going...

My husband referred to me as "Skinny", "Tiny", "Sexy", and "Hot" within the last few weeks and on more than one occasion. ***Sorry if this was TMI for some lol.

But hearing my husband say those words to me made me feel exactly the definition of each word. I want to keep feeling that way.

Don't let this week keep me from what I want. It's done. It's over. Move forward.

It is time for bed...otherwise I may repeat myself again and again.

Night All!