I Wanna Do Bad Things To You...My Weight Loss that is

Hello Everyone!

Any TrueBlood Fans out there? Anyone? No?

So Halloween and my Birthday have come and gone.

So has my self control and motivation. YIKES!

Let's just say I made very little attempts to actually stay focused this week.

I had left over Peanut Butter Chewies that my mom made me. I ended up having to throw them away. I couldn't stop eating them and they aren't very good after a few days, even when stored in a container.

I had my son's Halloween candy out on the counter.

I ate pizza Saturday night. I did order the thin crust, garden veggie. Then I had a glass of wine.

My knees were bothering me and so I only walked once this week.

I had a Jack In The Box Ultimate Cheeseburger, no sauce. With curly fries and ketchup.

I ate left over pizza then 2 hours later, even though I wasn't hungry, ate chicken fajitas. I only had 2 and only 4-5 chips with salsa. I was miserable though.

I decided to buy Oreos one day this week. So all 3 of us plowed right in to them...No portion control.

I also decided, at one point before bedtime, that I wanted a Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop Tart. I heated that up and drank milk with it. I was satisfied with my craving and very full afterwards.

I did sit down and make up a meal plan for the week and followed through with it for a few of the days.

I have had a few spoonfuls of the "real" chocolate icing left over from the HG Chocolate Cake I made. I would just have a spoonful or I would add some to the slice of cake. Luckily there are only 8 slices and the kids had 1 each so that only happened once. But still...

I had a cute outfit on today though. Size 14 American Eagle capri's and a size Large top. Hair was unruly and I had no make-up on in the photo but all-in-all it was cute. Oh and I also wore one of my new bras. Not sure I like it so much though which bums me out. Lets just say the girls were not staying in place and that's just frustrating.

Cute story about the capri's. I was sitting on the front stoop waiting for the kids to get off the school bus, wearing these capri's. My son was outside and came up to me. He said; "Mommy, you leg coming through you pants" as he points to the holes in the kness of my jeans with a very concerned look on his face. I said to him, "yes, buddy. I bought them that way". He replies, as he rides away on his bike still looking concerned, "poor mommy". LMBO! It was like he was thinking A)I can't afford jeans without holes or B) I paid money for jeans with holes and it doesn't make sense to him. Eiher way I was dying! He is truly Awesome!!!

 While we were out today...my son talked me into buying him a batman cave. Here he was taking a gold fish break. You can see the Yellow and Blue snack up just in front of the toy, if you look close. hehe

Tonight...UGH! I did well this morning. Oatmeal (not instant). Lunch was Subway's Tuscan chicken Melt with no sauce. *This is where it goes down hill...
1 small bag of Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar chips. Almost and entire bag of Rold Gold Fudge Coated Pretzels. A healthy handful of Cracker Jacks Originals. About 4oz of of Blush Wine from Crown Valley. About 8oz of Barefoot Moscato.

I tried the new recipe that I posted about earlier, Spinach and Ricotta Stuffed Shells. They were not as good as I had hoped. I am curious if it could have been because I was still full from my binge this afternoon. SO I wrapped that up and put it in the fridge. Then I made 1/2 cup of refried beans with WW mexican blend cheese, whole grain scoops, and 1/2 cup of pace medium salsa. I drank a diet cherry pepsi. UGH SO FULL but didn't stop. Old habits die hard!!!

I weigh-in tomorrow morning. I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 194 lbs...that is down from last saturday but I am pretty sure after tonight it will be up by morning.

I should note how I feel and maybe if I decide to do this again, I can go back and see why I don't want to do this again...

I feel like BLAH! I don't feel well. I feel heavy and tired. (It is late and I need to go to bed). I am not motivated and most definitely Dehydrated.

I am pretty sure I read somewhere...If you eat like crap you will feel like crap. That is Happening right here and now!

SO Lesson Learned...I still have a lot of learning to do. I am still on this journey to learn how to make healthy choices and still be able to indulge on things I love in reasonable portions. I am still a work in progress and I am going to have bad days and weeks. The important thing is how I learn from them and pick up and move forward.

Whether the scale in the morning says I gained or stayed the same or (by some miracle) lost weight. It is a new day. A fresh start and a new opportunity. I am in control. Food does not control me.

I just need to refocus and remind myself why I am doing this and how bad I really want it.

One good thing and maybe it will help me get going...

My husband referred to me as "Skinny", "Tiny", "Sexy", and "Hot" within the last few weeks and on more than one occasion. ***Sorry if this was TMI for some lol.

But hearing my husband say those words to me made me feel exactly the definition of each word. I want to keep feeling that way.

Don't let this week keep me from what I want. It's done. It's over. Move forward.

It is time for bed...otherwise I may repeat myself again and again.

Night All!

Weigh-In Day and Before Photos

 Saturday October 20, 2012

Weight: 200.4 lbs (So Close!!!)

Shirt: Large Tank from ON

Capri's: Large from ON

 

Good Evening Everyone!
 
I hope you are all having a great week so far!

I had a rough week last week and I was surprised that I still lost 3lbs on Saturday. I am for sure going to make it to ONEderland this Saturday!!! I am so excited and happy!

I am confused yet again by WW though. When I signed up for the monthly pass I was told I could go to as many meetings as I wanted through out the week or something like that. So since I have been busy on Saturdays I went to a few Friday morning meetings and weighed in on Saturday morning. This Saturday I was told that I could go to any meeting but I had to weigh-in before the meeting. Geez! It's almost like I am being tested.

After I weighed-in I headed home to change for the pumpkin patch.

Shirt: XL Novelty Halloween from Wal-mart

Under Shirt: XL from Wal-mart

Jeans: Size 14 from ON

 

We took a hay ride. Caleb was not pleasant for most of the morning. So this is the best photo we got.

 





Here is a photo of one of the pumpkins carved into a Jack-O-Lantern on Saturday Evening.

 

 

This is my view of this gorgeous tree from my back window. I love the colors. Today the leaves are mostly gone from the top and it wont be much longer before the rest fall.

 

I had a bad weekend as far as food goes. I did okay on Saturday for lunch. CC's pizza...I had 1 slice of veggie pizza and a salad with a few bites of garlic bread and a brownie. Not very good. Made me feel like poo. Thinking we need to change the place we have lunch after the pumpkin patch for next year.

 

After a glorious nap I vacuumed out my new car. Then Caleb and I went to Target for a few things before we headed to the Pumpkin Carving Party we were invited to.

 

The food at the party was pulled pork on a roll, veggie platter, party potatoes or casserole, buffalo wild wing dip with chips, deer sausage with cheese and crackers, pasta salad, & brownies. I only had a little and I was not stuffed but all of the points still added up. It was all very good too.

 

On Sunday I did not have breakfast and met my dad for lunch at Bandana's. I had the turkey platter with french fries (which I did not eat they were for Caleb) and a side salad with the dressing on the side. I used the sweet n smoky bbq sauce and only had a few bites of the garlic bread. I did not stuff myself.

 

Dinner was Bread Company. But some how I still managed to go over for Sunday.

 

Monday I was just hungry all day. I was tired too. I had a pep talk with myself. I talked myself into walking despite how I had lack of motivation. I felt better but was still hungry and went over. NO MORE EXTRA WEEKLY POINTS LEFT and it's only Monday. Sigh!

 

So I made myself make today a better day. I worked on my laundry. Played with the kids. When the kids were napping, I headed downstairs to walk. I managed to jog for 17 minutes straight and for 5 laps. So I ran a mile today. AHHH! So happy for that. I pushed myself to keep going. Testing my limits. I had pains in my legs. They felt tired. I had aches in my side and I tried breathing in my nose and out my mouth to help. I had pain in my hips. I kept going. Telling myself that I can do this. I have done this before. I was so proud afterwards.

 

I feel much better about my weigh-in this weekend. I feel confident that I can at least lose .5 lbs after the rough start to the week. I feel like I renewed my belief in myself that I can do this.

 

It is so hard to keep going. Some days I just want to quit. I feel go about myself. I am starting to see who I am again. I like to see photos of myself again and my reflection in the mirror. I am noticing so many positive changes in my body. I feel great. So I feel like I can just stop and it will be okay. But I can't. If I do I will end up right back where I started and possibly weigh more. I found photos from last year around this time. I did not like myself in these photos and I still don't. I could pick myself apart in these photos. I am glad my husband took them though. For one, I was enjoying family time with my son. But also, now I can use these photos for motivation to keep me going and believing. To help me to never want to be that girl again.

I am sharing these with you. It is hard. I don't want others to see my like that. Even though that is how I was, walking around every day. Here goes...

 

This photo was actually from Easter 2011. I had been working out since January and had lost weight but gave up when the summer days got too hot. Then I just completely stopped. You can tell that by the way I look in the next photos.

Pumpkin Carving after we went to the pumpkin patch. Probably around 235 ish. The shirt I am wearing, now swamps me.

UGH! Why in the H3LL did I think that shirt looked good on me??

My face just looks full here...My son was not happy riding the ponies last year.

Oh The HORROR!

Yuck! But my son sure looks adorable!

 

Old Whitney                                                           New Whitney in progress

 

I can kind of see a difference in my before and during photos. I just know that I feel much better for sure. In the before photo: the jeans I had on are in a bag to go to good will now and the shirt is too big, so I probably need to do the same with that. HAHA Aly photo bombed both of these photos. LOL. Girl loves her picture taken.

 

I can't say enough how happy and proud of myself I am. In the past (before Aug 2012) I wouldn't have kept going if something upset or bothered me. Like all the stuff going on with WW. I would have stopped going because it was becoming a conflict. If something negative happened I always got upset and then had a pity party. I can proudly say that I am stronger now. I may get upset still but I kick myself in the butt and say get over it...move on...WORK OUT...lol. But it is the truth and I am still going because I have found that strength within myself to push myself to keep going.

 

I make healthier choices. I stop and think before I take a bite or drink. I ask myself if I am really hungry. But if it's something I really want or like then I allow myself to have it. I watch my portions. I track everything even if it is frustrating to look up foods that I don't normally eat then can't find it so I have to wing it. OCD anyone. Everything has to be so-so and if it isn't then it makes me aggravated and I just want to say screw it! BUT I stick to it. I had an extra point or 2 to what I have found similar and move on.

 

I have started to see myself next year for my friends wedding...Skinny...Cute...Beautiful. I have started thinking about how my husband won't be able to keep his hands off of me, even more so than now. :D I even had a crazy thought about doing what another blogger I follow did and buy a bikini just to see how it would look on me. I have never liked bikini's on my body. Even when I had the body to wear one. Just felt too exposed. We will see...it may be a behind closed doors kind of deal if I do.

 

I imagine nice legs and a nice butt. I imagine nice arms and no muffin top. I am hoping my belly firms up a little but I gained a lot of weight then got pregnant so I feel like there is no hope for my belly. Thank goodness for spanx! haha

I also imagine my wedding and engagement rings getting re-sized. I imagine I am able to wear my class ring and the ring my step-mom gave me for graduating high school.

 

I look forward to many things. I want to keep going. PRAY for this winter to go smoothly... pretty please! :)

 

Quote of the Day:

Work Hard Stay Humble
 

The only person you should try to be better than, is the person your were yesterday.
 

You're not as breakable as you think.

 

Just because today is a terrible day doesn't mean tomorrow won't be the best day of your life. You just gotta get there. 

 

Have a great rest of the week!

 

 

 

Work Hard Stay Humble

Happy Thursday!
 
This week has been wonderful! Monday I ran for a full 15 minutes without stopping. I feel like it is getting easier to run longer. Especially if I focus on something different. The first 5 minutes felt great and he last 5 minutes were a little tough but I did it! I am running on my toes more than flat footed like I did when I started out. I don't know what the proper way to run is but I know I sure feel lighter when I do. After a brief cool down walk I decided, what the heck, I'll try running a little faster for a few minutes. I usually jog at a 3.5 so I bumped the speed to 4.0 and off I went. It was amazing! I was laughing at myself because I felt so light on my feet like a gazelle or a ballerina. You know how graceful they are and how they just glide through the air. I felt kind of like that. Is that weird? LOL. I finished 5 minutes of running at 4.2 speed. I bumped it up because I felt like I could go faster and I did. I was emotional afterwards but I didn't cry. It was more triumph and pride. I felt as if I could do just about anything if I put my mind to it. AWESOME!
 

After my run...I was happy. :)
 
Tuesday we purchased a new car since my car was almost 10 years old and pretty much on its death bed. So we traded my Cavalier for a Mazda 3. It's super cute and sporty. Love it!
 

 

On Wednesday it looked like it was going to rain and I had already decided I was walking outside so I went ahead and did it. I bundled up my son and put the leashes on my dogs and we set out. Everyone that sees us pass always says it looks like I have my hands full. I guess so, I have a jogging stroller and 2 dogs. LOL. My dogs are always crazy the first mile of our walks. They drag me and pull and smell everything. I remember a time when they were so well behaved on our walks. I think my hubby needs to walk them again, they listen to him and walk so much better.

I was feeling pretty good so I decided to jog down one street and up to another. We took a short break then once we hit another street we jogged again to the end of that street. When we got to the pond in the front of our subdivision I jogged again. I got almost to the end of the street and Aly stopped and I didn't realize it so she got jerked by the leash. I stopped and looked down and she was pooping. GREAT! She is the only one that does this to me. LOL. Brandi has never stopped to poop, only to pee. Then I got to carry a poop bag the rest of my walk. Fabulous! We went back to the pond where we fed the ducks bread that we brought with us. Caleb enjoyed feeding the ducks. He never took interest before so it was cool seeing him have fun with it. Of course the ducks wouldn't get very close with my two crazy dogs nearby but we were able to toss bread to them.

We headed back and I always start to dread the huge hill on my journey back home. I need to take a picture of it someday, well it would be more than one because I don't think I could get it all in one shot...yea it's that big. I've never timed myself walking up it so I am not sure how long it takes to get up it. I'd say maybe a little more than 5 minutes, maybe. So today I tried something different to help me get up the hill. I had jogged down so my energy was pretty low already so I decided just to take the hill slow. Usually I go fast hoping it will be over sooner and then I always feel like I'm going to die at the top. LOL. I paced myself very slow. Controled my breathing and did my best to stay at a slow pace. Towards the top I was looking down at the ground and before I knew it I was approaching the top of the street. Cool. I then just needed to make the turn up the next street to the top of the hill. Once at the top I was not winded and felt great! Oh and my iphone was playing 4 Non Blondes What's Up, "And so I wake in the morning And I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream from the top of my lungs What's going on?". I'll have to do that again!

 

I researched all yesterday to find places to go for my upcoming birthday. Aparently you are supposed to know what you want to do a year in advance if you want to find a very nice B&B. Oops! So I settled for the next best thing. I found a very nice B&B a few miles farther than where I wanted to go and it got great reviews. Plus the lady is a celebrity chef at our local Dierberg's. That means the food is going to be awesome. I booked it. I am so excited! We are going December 1 (a month after my birthday because of deer season). I figured we would hit a few wineries off 94 on the way. Maybe check out Daniel Boone's Homestead in Defiance? Then once we hit our destination and check-in we can explore the town. It is full of history and lots of walking can be done so I can get some exercise in before breakfast in the morning. hehe. This will be our first vacation since we had our son so we are super excited, even if it's just for one night. :D

 

I woke up this morning and the tops of my thighs are so sore. It is tough sitting down. I told my hubby, I wish it was my inner or outter thighs that felt sore then they could tone up faster...Oh well, I'll take whatever pain I can get. It just means I am doing something right to look and feel better later. Also, I did a check on my weight. I do this periodically throughout the week just to see if I need to add another exercise or watch what I am eating to keep me on track. My scale today said 200.6 lbs. OMG! I am so close to seeing a "1" in front of my weight, ONEderland!!! I am so proud of myself! I called my hubby to share my excitement with him. I will be under 200 by my 30th birthday! :)

 

Today we are going to the library in the county so Caleb can see his cousins. I find it silly that I can't check anything out since I am not a resident but whatev. At least we can join in on the activities and fun.

 

I plan to go to the Friday morning WW meeting again. We are going to the pumpkin patch on Saturday and I won't be able to make that meeting. I will go in early to weigh-in though. What are your plans for the weekend? Any fall activities or parties?

 

Wish my hubby luck! He is going hunting for the first time this season tomorrow and again Saturday-Sunday. Last year it was so windy and he didn't get one. We still have plenty of meat but if he doesn't get one this year we won't have much meat before next season.

 

So I have to be real...I am having a "lucky streak" I guess with my weight loss and it is not normal to lose weight this fast. The norm is at the most 2lbs a week. So yes I am enjoying the fast results and it has kept me going. I do fear in a month or so (the holidays) how my body is going to react. My doctor said I will plateau at some point. When I do I will be bummed but I'll have to remind myself to keep going because even if it isn't showing on the scale, I am still doing good for myself and my body. I have to keep that in mind so I don't lose sight of my goal. That will be when I will need to re-read my previous blogs and get support from my friends and family and readers.

 

I still have struggles here and there. I have days where I do not want to work out. I have to make myself workout. With winter approaching and colder weather to come, it is only going to get harder for me to want to workout. I am going to have to devise a plan to keep myself motivated to workout. I am not worried about food here at home but for the holidays I am worried. Maybe I can do that dollar in the jar for every workout I do or something so I can buy myself something cool? Any thoughts?

 

Above all I know I have learned to control my eating. I am still learning to stop when full if the food is good. I try not to let myself get to that point by not having that much food on my plate to tempt me but there are times when that is not possible. I always remind myself that I should not eat more because I am starting to feel full and I don't always listen to myself. So while I have come SO FAR I am still learning. That's why I like to blog. I can keep track of what I am learning and changing to refer to. I also can get tips from my readers and motivation. Thank you all for that.

 

 



 



Quote of the day:

 

Work Hard Stay Humble



25 lbs Gone!!! ... And some of my tips.

10/13/12 weight 203.4 lbs

Total loss 25.8 lbs

Earned my 25 lb award today

Tank top: Large

Capri's: Large

 

 

Good Afternoon!

 

I stepped on my scale this morning and was shocked at what I saw. I did lose weight. I was sure I gained or stayed the same this week. I worked out, yes. But the way I felt, the way I ate at times. It just felt like a bad week with no weight loss. So happy to see 203.4. I am so close to being under 200 pounds YES!

 

My breakfast: Panera Bread Power Sandwich. It's so good and filling.

My lunch: 1 1/2 c Ceasar Salad with 2 slices of Boar's Head Classic Chicken. And a Gala Apple.

My dinner: Homemade Vennison Chili simmering in my crock pot.I add 2% cheese and use whole wheat crackers. My house smells amazing!

I have drank tons of water today and walked for 2 hours for the baby mania sale.

 

It is muggy and warm here today. It's so strange since it has been chilly the past week. It has also been very windy, I expect that is due to the storm I heard we may get, or rain.

 

I didn't get much sleep last night. My son woke up around midnight with a low fever and fussy. After the tylenol kicked in he was in full force. Every few minutes he would turn around and kick one of us. He also kicked the covers off then put them back on. He decided to get out of our bed and bring toys in the room. Finally around 3am we told him he had to go to his room and play if he wasn't going to sleep. He wasn't happy about it but he went.

 

6:30am...My alarm goes off.

 

I rode with my neighbor friend to weigh-in, we grabbed breakfast and then headed to "Baby Mania". It is like a huge garage sale held in the parking lot of a local school. They have tons of baby stuff, maternity, older kids stuff, and furniture for cheap (if you look). Some people do price their stuff high.

 

I returned home to get ready to go grocery shopping. My husband and son were getting ready to go to the Circus. My hubby won tickets from work. They got to sit in the Company Suite. I think Caleb enjoyed himself as much as a 2-year old can. :) 

My goal this week is to plan my meals and exercise. So I made up my list and headed to the store.

I will be making my Parmesan Crusted Tilapia with some kind of potatoes and a veggie. Rosemary & garlic pork chop loin with a potato and veggie. Breakfast burritos with eggs, veggies, and cheese. I know we will have left over chilli a night or so. I am not sure on the other meals but I do have a few lean cuisine's. I am sure we will have mexican one night too.

I plan to start 30DS and walk this week too. I said I would start the C25K when I hit 10%...I'm nervous and I need to get my routine back before I can start that. I just need to do it. Maybe next week...

I am so proud of myself for kicking that feeling I had all week. I mentioned it in my last blog. I am not sure what was going on but I was getting nervous about the upcoming holidays and eating and not losing weight. I think I lost focus of what is important and I psyched myself out. I also starting alternating the days I took phenterine so that I can stop taking it once the prescription runs out. I guess that bothered me too. It made me insecure, like it wasn't me doing all the work to lose the weight with the help of an appetite suppressant. Amazing what we get stuck in our minds and have to change our ways of thinking in order to move forward.

In the past I wouldn't have been able to move forward. I would have just continued my downward path to my old ways. I know that this experience is teaching me how to change and make positive choices.

I am learning so much and my mind is clear for this upcoming week. I just need to stay focused on the goal.

My Tips:

Make small changes. Concentrate on one change at a time. Like drinking more water during the day by substituting other drinks for water. Or drink a glass of water before each meal.

Write down everything you eat and drink. I have learned from doing this. I used to eat so much food. Now I monitor what I am eating and it is really helping me. Yes it is time consuming but it has great benefits in the end. Also if you are having a bad week you can go back and look at the weeks that ou did great. You can see what you ate, drank, and if you exercised.

Don't think of exercise as a "chore". Find something you enjoy to do and you will find that you will want to do it. I love to bike ride but it is hard for me because a) I live in a very hilly subdivision and I don't think I am ready for hills b) I haven't pulled my son in the bike carriage yet so it makes me nervous on my own c) It gets dark now by the time my husband gets home from work so we aren't able to go until the weekend. With that said I am okay with the rides we take when we can. So I found I like to walk outside. I also enjoy walking on my treadmill with a movie on or a show I like to watch. I love to swim when the weather is appropriate. Also I have started parking farther away so I walk more. I play with my son outside. The idea is just to start moving.

Drink Water. I love water with ice in it and when it's very cold. I try to drink at least a gallon a day. I notice when I haven't had enough. I feel dehydrated, tired, and sluggish. I get headachhes sometimes too. I read that if you feel thirsty chances are you are already dehydrated so drink up every chance you get. Also, don't drink your calories (except for milk) if you can help it. If you do just be sure to add that in to your daily budget. Got a craving or feel hungry? Drink a glass of water, you may just be thirsty. Then go to bed to avoid late night snacking.

Be accountable. Get your friends and family involved with your weight loss journey. I feel accountable every Saturday when I weigh-in. I know that my weight goes in their system and it counts. I enjoy going to the meetings because everyone there is going through a smiliar journey as me. You can also start a blog and write everything in there.

Plan. Be sure to plan your meals ahead of time. When you know what you will be eating for each meail including snacks you are more likely to stay on track. This one is hard if you are busy but you have to make time. Bring fruit or nuts with you. When you grocery shop have healthy choices available for you to make.

Think Whole Grain. Switch from white breads, pastas, rice to whole grain varietys. This will help you get more fiber in your day. Find the ones that you like and taste good.

Fruits and Veggies. Have them with each meal and snack. I try to make this a habit. It helps you get your 5 in for the day. :)

Don't skip meals. If you don't eat often, 5-6 small meals a day, you will start to feel like you have less energy. You will feel tired. I am not a doctor but I know I have read somewhere that skipping meals can be harmful to your health (slow metabolism, drop blood sugar...).

Use a smaller plate. It tricks you into thinking you are eating a lot more than you are. This also helps with portion control.

Measure Everything. Have several measuring cups and spoons available so you can be sure you are having the accurate serving for each food.

Splurge a little. We are human. We want foods that are sweet. It's okay to have ice cream or cookies every once in a while. Just be sure to eat in moderation. If the serving size says 2 cookies then only eat 2 cookies. This will become easier with time. You will be able to control your eating and not want to go back for more.

Slim down your recipes. You can by Fat Free or Low Fat in almost everything. You just have to find what you like. I have found ideas from other bloggers and Pinterest. I buy 2% cheese because I like the way it taste and it melts well. I buy Skim Milk. I buy Reduced Fat, Low Sodium, and Fat Free especially in my canned goods. Use Lean meats. Bake or grill instead of frying. Use any substitution that will help make the recipe still taste good but have less calories.

One Pound at a time. Set small goals for yourself. Sure we all have that number we would love to see on the scale but if we don't get there fast enough then we get discouraged. Don't do that to yourself. Instead, say you want to lose 5lbs to start. When you do, reward yourself with something, not food. I have bought new running shoes, a purse, new work out outfit, smaller sized jeans, exercise mat, free weights, moisture wicking socks, etc. Then set another small goal. Before you know it you will have reached your ultimate goal and have enjoyed the journey along the way.

When I have salad or order salad I have the dressing on the side. I dip my fork into the dressing and then into the salad. This helps me have less dressing.

I eat egg whites when possible with bell peppers and onions. I top it with 2% cheese.

I eat vanilla greek yogurt (okios) with about 1/2-1 cup strawberries and 1/4 c Kashi Go-Lean Honey Almond Flax. It's like a sweet treat for me.

I take a multi-vitamin, biotin, b-complex, omega 3 fish oil, and Glucosamine, Chondroitin every day.

I eat Subway: 6" Turkey on Wheat with Provolone Cheese and Veggies. No dressing. I eat Bread Co (Panera Bread): Smoked Turkey on Country with Spicy Mustard and Chicken Noodle Soup with a French Baguette. Or Power Breakfast Sandwich with and apple. I eat Jimmy Johns Turkey Tom with no Mayo and I had Provolone Cheese. I eat Pennstation East Coast Subs: Small Turkey Dagwood with provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onions, and a few fries. I eat McDonald's McDouble and a small Fry or a kids meal. I eat Jack In The Box: 2 Tacos with Sauce, 1 egg roll with sweet and sour sauce. Or a Breakfast Jack. I eat at Tequila's Mexican Restaurant: Chips and Salsa (about 14 chips if that) and Chicken Fajitas. I ask for no sour cream. I don't eat the rice and beans. I only make 2 fajitas.

When I can't find a meal at a restaurant, I order a garden salad with low-fat or fat-free dressing on the side and ask for grilled chicken with it.

I may have forgotten a few of my tips. It is hard to keep my mind focused with my adorable 2-year old talking to me. :) So if you have any questions or would like to make suggestions for me please do so.

If you are struggling just know that you are not alone. Tomorrow is a new day. Start fresh. If I can do it you can too!

Have a great evening!

Quote of the day:

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

Who Am I?

Good Evening Everyone!

I hope you had a great day! I had a busy day including a good check up at the dentist. Score! I have been struggling in my head with the switching of my phentermine every other day. It's like I am setting myself up to fail. STUPID! Why do I do this to myself??? I feel great! I have done the work to get me where I am so why am I making this medicine out to be the winner here? I think I don't want to believe that I really did it even though I am very proud of myself. It could also be a hint of PMS starting as well...Oh Joy! Any who...I need to get my butt in gear and stop being so hard on myself. I also need to sit down and literally be a newbie at WW again! I need to plan out next week as if my life depended on it. Cross all of my T's and Dot my I's. More on this later...

If you are a new reader you are probably wondering Who the heck I am. Let me tell you a little about myself.

My name is Whitney. I was born November 1, 1982 (Yes, my 30th birthday is coming up :)) in Nowata, OK. I also have a brother, Dave, born 4 years later. We grew up in Southern Missouri until I was in 4th grade. My parents divorced and we moved in with my dad. He lived in St. Louis Missouri with his girlfriend and her 2 kids, Ashly (1986) & Derrick (1990). My dad married my step-mom and they had my half sister, Emma, in 1996. My mom also re-married and they had my half brother, Dylan, in 1997. (I hope I have all of my dates right or close to it).

I met my husband when I moved to Oakville during my Sophomore year of high school. We started dating in 1999. My dad and step-mom divorced during my Junior year. I still keep in touch with my step-mom and her family, they were apart of my life for so long it only seemed natural. My dad re-married after I graduated from High School. My mom re-married again August 2011.

My husband and I moved in together in May 2006. We married in June 2009. We had our son in April 2010. Life is Good!

Growing up I always felt bigger. My brothers (step & half too) & sisters (step & half too) were always so skinny, like skin and bone skinny. Some of my friends were smaller than me too. I guess I never really felt comfortable about my body after puberty started at age 13. I turned to food for everything. I was an emotional eater.

Through High School I felt skinny. I look back at the pictures now and yell at myself for ever thinking I was fat. I was 125-135 lbs in High School. After High School the weight crept up. Year by year I would buy bigger sizes. I was in such a state of denial that I just took it as I was growing and that was normal. I never saw it as a problem. Not until I turned 21. I was fast approaching the 14/16/18/20/22 sizes and I did little to stop it. I loved food. Food was there for me always and it tasted so good! No self control. No portion control. No clue I needed to stop at the point where my stomach felt like it was going to burst, literally. Exercise was pretty non-exhistant. I would exercise here and there but never enough to make a difference. I knew I was getting fat but did nothing to stop it.

I had lots of issues as I got heavier, mentally. I took medicine, it made me mean. I saw a councelor, she was not helpful. I had depression real bad and it got worse in the winter. I was in a bad state and let myself go completely. Pushed away friends and family. It's very hard to get them back too once they were pushed away for too long. I am so lucky to still have the friends I do today. I am also lucky to have my family stick with me through this. Most of all my husband. He should get a metal/award for putting up with my craziness for these past 13 years. I know he loves me though and I love him. I hope to be able to show him how much I appreciate him staying by my side through all of this some day. I also need to thank my good friend Bettina for supporting me. I always text her my weight loss and anything going on. She's been such a great friend and I'm glad to have her in my life. :) hugs (:

Of course when you are fat you don't want to believe it. You don't want to talk about it. Not until you are ready to make a change. It is so hard! Why do we do this to ourselves? It isn't fun and it does hurt. Aren't we hurt enough? Don't we deserve to live our life? Why not do something about it?

Sure it's easier to just sit on the couch and watch TV. Sure it's easier to go through drive through. Sure it's cheaper and easier to buy junk food (at times). But I had no idea what it was doing to my body. My body was reacting to the way I ate in several ways and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Certain foods did not agree with me. I would get the worst stomach cramps, just as bad as menstral cramps, and have to run to the bathroom. NOT FUN!!! I also got anxiety attacks that also led to stomach cramps and trips to the bathroom. I would get shakey if I didn't eat...hypoglycemia or something my doctor once told me. Scary Stuff! My councelor told me I had PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder) from some of the things I shared with her. Why did I put myself through all of that? What did I gain from it? I know I never want to feel that way again or go through any of that again.

Over the summer something "clicked". Yes I have tried to lose weight. Many times. Yes I have stopped and returned to my old ways. But this time is different. I feel different. My mind is clear. Like a fog has been removed. I am determine to be 140 lbs. It will happen for me. I want to feel good about myself. I want to look in the mirror and say WOW look at that. My husband is so lucky to have me. hehehe. But Seriously I want to be healthy.

So here is my new journey...23 lbs down 65 more to go. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I look forward to hearing from you and following you as well.

Good Night for now. :)

Saturday's Weigh-in and Exciting News!

Good Morning,

Happy Hump Day!

Sorry it has taken me so long to post this week's blog...super busy weekend. I don't know that I even realize what happened. Lol!

 

Saturday Weigh-in Day 10/6/2012

My weight: 205.6 lbs
Total: 23.6 lbs

I reached my 10% goal! I was so excited about this but I never got the chance to actually celebrate. I had a dress fitting later Saturday afternoon then Sunday I was gone all day for my neice's baby shower. I haven't even shown off my key chain to my husband. I feel like the excitement went away a little because I was so busy. Jerry had his upcoming interview weighing on his mind so I think we were both just preoccupied.

Monday

I was pumped to start Jillian Michael's 30 day shred...Except when I went to start it up it was on level 2...that was the only level I had...I know it sounds weird. My hubby copies our DVD's to Itunes so that we don't have to use DVD's...somehow my level 1 and 3 disappeared. So Frustrating!!! I was mad, very mad! It seems like every time I want to do something it never goes as I want or as planned or as smooth as it could. Any Who...I cooled my jets and decided to do Billy Blanks Boot Camp Basic Training. It was easy at first but got tough towards the end.

I am proud of myself for finding a way to still work out even though it wasn't what I had in mind. In the past I would have just said screw it and sat on the couch all day, being crabby. Hooray for me for making positive changes within myself.

 

Tuesday

Caleb had his scheduled flu shot at Jerry's work so we headed to Clayton for that. When we finished it was too early for lunch so we went shopping. The hubs needed new, black, work shoes and a wallet. Caleb and I went to Old Navy first. He needs a few nice outfits so we picked him up a few things including the cutest outfit for pictures and possible Thanksgiving!

I decided to try on jeans. My 16's have all been big on me by days end lately and they look sloppy on me. I grabbed a pair of 14's in boot cut and skinny (for my boots). We went into the changing room and after I wrestled with Caleb for 20 minutes to try on a few of his clothes I was sweaty...gross. Thanks phentermine. LOL. So it was the moment of truth...I grabbed the boot cut pair of jeans and pulled them up, buttoned them and looked in the mirror. HOLY COW they fit and looked great! No freaking way! I was so excited and happy! Sure 14 isn't a small size but it IS, however, a smallER size than what I have worn in the past several years so heck yes I was excited about that! I tried on the skinny 14's too. I didn't like how they looked on me personally and they felt big in the butt/hip area but they would be great for tall boots which is the only time I'd ever wear them. I put them back for now because I am not ready to wear boots just yet. I also put on a cute white vest, size large, but when I saw myself in the mirror...I don't need anything puffy right now. LOL. We will wait for puffy clothes. Skinny clothes are what I will stick with for now. I did buy a size large 3/4 sleeve sweater and 2 size large cami's...yay!

It was a successful trip and I saved money too! Bonus!

We stopped by Jimmy John's for lunch then headed to Kohl's. I took several pictures of shoes for Jerry. He told me what he liked so I grabbed those in his size. Then I grabbed him a new wallet. I also took pictures of 2 shirts that I thought he might like and since he doesn't have a yellow or burnt orange shirt I figured it would be okay. He liked them both. Grabbed a tie to match the yellow shirt and headed out.

I made a super delicious dinner, Parmesan crusted Tilapia with asparagus and parmesan roasted red potatoes. I also squeezed in time for a walk last night. I walked at 3.0 speed at a 6.0 incline for 47 minutes. It was a great walk, I had to stop because we watched our neighbors little boy for a few hours and it was getting late. My Nike said I walked a 10K last night...haha funny! I think it got out of wack somehow. I sure felt the pain from Monday's Billy Blank work out though.

Wednesday

The hubs had an interview this morning, within his company, and I am so curious to know how it went. His current boss told him about an idea they had to keep him with them instead of moving to IT. As he told me about it, we were both getting excited at the idea and forgot about the IT position...Both would be great opportunities for him so I will be happy for him either way.

Gotta finish up my housework today. Laundry, cleaning, etc. Having busy weekends and not being home = dirty house! BOO! I need to work on Caleb's room too. He plays in there a lot and never puts toys away. He knows how to put toys away because he helps me downstairs and in the living room but his room, we need to work on.

I need to walk/run/or do billy blanks again today too. This has been the worst week as far as food planning and keeping in my budget! I need to get back to focusing on that pronto! First step was add up all of my points used since saturday for each day so I know where I stand today. YIKES! I have been so good at tracking since I started WW in August but this past week has been tough. I am still focused so I am not worried. :)

Also I started taking my phentermine every other day, as my doctor suggested I could do this month since I will not be taking it in November. I am thinking about asking for a prescription to get me through the holidays though. Looking through Pinterest's food has made me want all bad things lately. lol. Wish me luck!

I love how I feel and how I look! I want to keep going so I can look and feel even better!

I have several photos to share. I was able to fit in a dress I bought 1 year ago and a dress I haven't worn since I was 20.

Have a great rest of the week!

Quote of the day:

It will hurt.

It will take time.

It will require dedication.

It will require willpower.

You will need to make healthy decicisions.

It requires sacrifice.

You will need to push your body to its max.

There will be temptation.

But, I promise you, when you reach your goal, it's

worth it.

 

205.6 Saturday October 6 2012

205.6 Saturday October 6, 2012. 10% weight loss!

205.6 Saturday October 6, 2012.

 

205.6 10/6/12 Size 16 Dress. I was finally able to zip this dress up!

205.6 10/6/12 Size 16 dress

205.6 10/6/12 size 16 dress

 



Weight Loss Tools

Good Evening, I hope you all had a great day because I had a wonderful day. My house is decorated for fall and Halloween. I had my follow-up doctor's appointment this morning and Doc is happy with my progress. I needed that extra assurance that I am doing okay and it is all me.

I am currently taking an appetite suppressant called Phentermine. It is used as a Weight Loss Tool to help you lose weight when you are using a diet program, such as Weight Watchers. It is not a magic pill. You take it while you are exercising and eating healthy to help you lose weight for a short period of time. I have been taking it for 2 months now. I will take it for one more month and then I am going to try to do Weight Watcher's with out it.

It has helped me to lose weight fast, yes. BUT it has also helped me find confidence in myself that I can do this on my own. That is what I needed. I have tried and failed many times to lose weight. You have to really want it or it will not work. You have to want to make a change. You have to want to change how you eat and live. It takes hard work and it will not happen over night. I did not gain my weight in one day. It took about 9 years but now I am focused on getting healthy.

My husband has noticed a complete change in me these past 2 months. He has seen me more dedicated and focused than I have ever been. He is very proud of me and what I have accomplished. I am very proud of me too.

I have already seen the positive changes I have made. I am hoping they turn into positive habits. I have a fruit or veggie with every meal. I drink tons of water every day. If I am craving something I ask myself how bad I want it? I ask myself if I am actually hungry? I then drink water or eat something healthy first. Then if I still want what I am craving I have it. I eat it in moderation of course.

Don't get me wrong. I have had bad days where I just eat whatever and work it off later. I am human. But I don't beat myself up about it. I allow myself to do that because it takes time to change a lifetime of habits. You need to know that it is okay to still have those foods just in moderation.

For instance, for breakfast I had 3 egg whites, 1/2 cup bell peppers, 1/2 cup onions, a little garlic powder and black pepper, 1/4 cup of 2% colby jack cheese cooked in EVOO. I was a little hungry after I finished so I had a banana.

Lunch I have 2 slices of Sara Lee's 45 Calories and delightful whole wheat bread, toasted with 6 slices of oscar mayer's smoked turkey, 1 slice kraft 2% cheese, dijon mustard, and a klosen dill pickle spear. I'll add tomato to my sandwhich if I have it.

Dinner I have talapia baked with Reduced Fat parmesan cheese, lemon pepper, and butter on top. With a broccoli or asparagus and red potatoes. I mix up how I make the potatoes but I watch my portions. I do have pork loin, chicken, lean beef, or vennison too.

Snacks are usually carrots, apples, strawberries with greek yogurt (Oikio's vanilla is really good) and sometimes kashi go-lean honey almond flax on top. I also have WW String cheese or a handful of nuts.

Once you get into a habit of eating this way it just becomes second nature. Keep all of the good stuff in your house so that you can eat it right away when you are hungry.

It is harder when we go out to eat but I always choose veggies with whatever I am having. There are times I will have a fry off of my husbands plate or I will order fries. I just eat moderately.

You can still have all of things you love, you just have to watch your portions and how often you eat it. You can also substitute certain ingredients for lower fat or fat free versions. Losing weight doesn't have to feel like you are trapped and can only have certain things. It can be a learning experience for what works for you and what doesn't. NEVER GIVE UP! Learn from what doesn't work and keep going. Tomorrow is a new day.

Make small changes. Switch out one of your regular sodas for a diet or a water each day. Then move on to something else. Like try to have a fruit or veggie with each meal.

It isn't that hard it's just changing your habits and that takes time. Be patient.

Other Weight Loss Tools:
You can use any food and exercise tracker app on your smart phone or online.
You can write it all down on a note pad.
Go to a meeting for people trying to lose weight.

If you know of any more please let me know.

To Lose Weight:
Drink Lots of Water at least a gallon a day.
Watch your portion sizes
Measure Everything
Write down everything you eat and drink
Eat more Fruits and Veggies. 5 a day.
Eat lean meats
Eat Whole Grains
Choose Fat Free, Low Fat, 2% when you can
Eat 5-6 small meals a day to help boost your metabolism
Take it one meal at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time.
Take a multi-vitamin daily
Join a gym/Take a 15-30 min walk every day to start. Build up to longer times.
Do strength exercises. Buy free weights or use canned food to work out your arms.
Do a workout DVD like Billy Blanks Boot Camp or Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.
Go for a bike ride or take a swim
Join a team for a sport you enjoy playing
Make time to take care of you. If you want it bad enough you will make the time for it.
Weigh yourself once a week.
Measure yourself once a month.

I am not a doctor or anything so definitely check with your doctor to help you lose weight. That is what I did. This is just how I have been losing weight.

Now I know that sometimes it is hard to get out of a funk. Especially if you struggle with depression. I struggled with it for years and once you are down it is so hard to shake it. You just have to Do It! Fight that inner voice that says you don't want to or don't feel like it. You will be glad you did a year from now.

If you have any suggestions please share them. I am sure I forgot a few things that maybe you remembered.

Quote of the Day:

DO NOT GIVE UP! The beginning is always the hardest.